The first sign I had that I was pregnant was clumsiness. No one talks about that as a pregnancy symptom, but it is. It started with a coffee mug. By the time I actually got to my missed period and a positive pregnancy test I was down another coffee mug, 2 glasses, and a bowl. This continued throughout my whole pregnancy. I broke almost all of my portable coffee mugs, most of which were freaking PLASTIC. I still managed to break them. My husband started refusing to let me empty the dishwasher because he was tired of glass being all over the floor. Which really says something because usually my husband never voluntarily cleans anything.
And all of this didn’t end with the breaking of things. Oh no.
I would just be standing there and I would just fall over. Like I would just be sitting there or standing there or whatever and I would just fall over. I fell down the stairs twice. I was constantly covered in bruises from my ever expanding body hitting new things. When visiting my in laws over Christmas I had to steal the toddler’s stool to climb into bed because I could not maneuver myself into the bed otherwise without falling in the floor. When said toddler asked his grandma why I had stolen his stool she said it was because I was short. I am not short, I am just clumsy as hell.
Then it got even better. My belly got even bigger and then I would start hitting things and knocking them over with my belly. Just knock everything on the table completely off while I reel in the shock of hitting something and end up falling over again, lying helplessly on my back like a beached whale or turtle trying to figure out how to get up again. Maybe I’m not the only one, this article mentions clumsiness also.
Pregnancy is fun.